It's beyond simple lying, it's lying that makes you doubt your reality and makes you docile, easy to control because you no longer trust which way is up, you have to depend on them to tell you which way is up. Gaslighting A word that mentally unstable or insane people have made up. A person who uses this tactic may have learned it is an effective way of obtaining what they want or controlling people. You wear the women's underwear to dinner as a make-up surprise. Gaslighting is a behavior that people learn by watching others. He says he got you those two years ago for your anniversary, what the fuck, why don't you remember? You apologize because you feel bad for being inconsiderate, forgetting something that mattered to him. Some day you find a pair of underwear in your laundry and it's not yours. You're not too smart, or you'd know for sure what time he gets home, like the fact that you doubt it is not a good sign, he seems pretty sure that he always got home at this time. Honestly that is so like you to be kinda airheaded. You wonder if you're really that unobservant. I always come home at this time." And you try to argue that it's only been the last ten or even times he shows up at this time, he insists that you must have been confused, maybe in the past he got off work early once but he definitely always just comes home at this time "You're late!" And he said "what? No I'm not. The next day it happens again, but you checked the time. "I haven't been coming home late! Are you sure you aren't just losing track of time?" And you doubt yourself. 20 Examples of Gaslighting: Relationships, Parents, Friends, & Coworkers. After communicating with the person gaslighting you, you may be left feeling dazed and wondering if there is something wrong with you. When someone is gaslighting you, you may second-guess yourself, your memories, recent events, and perceptions. You ask him why he keeps coming home late. Gaslighting is a technique that undermines a persons perception of reality.
eh, NOT being gaslighted also has drawbacks, sadly.Ī good example of gaslighting is when your husband comes home late from work for the 10th time in a row. She promised to get me checked out and then never did. to apologizing really damn generally 'that I was scared for my health.' Fun fact: I wasn't just scared for my health. see the amazingly done gaslighting post here. My mom has jumped straight (after not recalling) to saying it happened some other way (and sometimes the truth is between what her and I are saying, but not often, or if I have it wrong it's generally because I was super young AND she never told me much of what she 'planned' to do but didn't) to saying it doesn't matter so drop it to saying fuck why am I so. oh, huh, on second thought I don't have to guess what she would do. Like, huh, then WHY did I go find my medical records looking for this specifically? It didn't happen out of nowhere that I did that, didn't appear in thin air, and it happened for a reason. In these cases it's useful to remember the way people work.
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